50th Birthday Jokes
These jokes are things I've heard over the years, from TV shows, the internet, friends, family and other places.
I've written them in my own words from what I can remember hearing - so these aren't directly my jokes, just those I've heard over the years.
Top 10 Signs You're Over The Hill
Helpful Tips for the over 50's
Tip #1: Always attach your glasses to you with a piece of string. Without them you will not be able to find your false teeth.
Tip #2: Keep a journal or diary, it will help you remember what you did yesterday.
Tip #3: Take advantage of your age. Complain about your health and talk your kids into doing all your chores.
Tip #4: Science has finally made it possible for a 50 year old to look as young as a teenager - with a simple head transplant!
Tip #5: Buy an iPad, digital camera and an MP3 player. Although you won't know how to use them, you’ll at least appear trendy.
Tip #6: Become friends with people much older than yourself - you'll feel so much younger.
Tip #7: Never attempt pick up something you dropped, except under strict medical supervision.
Another Good Laugh
There were 3 ladies talking about how they feel about being 50 years old.
The first lady said "There are times I find myself with the milk jug in my hand, and the fridge door open, but I can't figure out if I was taking it out, putting it back or pouring myself a glass."
Another lady answered "Yes sometimes I'm at the foot of the stairs and I don't remember if I was going up or just came down."
The last friend responded "Well, thankfully I don't have that yet, knock on wood." as she knocked on the table, then looked around and said "Oh, someone's at the door, I'll get it!"
You will even have the 50 year old laughing at them!