50th Birthday Jokes

50th birthday jokes

50th birthday jokes to help you get the party started! Laughter is the best medicine, they say - and I would agree. What better way to celebrate than having a good-natured laugh with some 50th birthday jokes!

These jokes are things I've heard over the years, from TV shows, the internet, friends, family and other places.

I've written them in my own words from what I can remember hearing - so these aren't directly my jokes, just those I've heard over the years.

If you happen to be the copyright owner, please contact me and I can be sure to either remove them, or give you credit for your funny joke!

Top 10 Signs You're Over The Hill

  1. When you're asleep, people tend to wonder if you might be dead.
  2. Your back goes out more than you do.
  3. When most of the names in your address book begin with Dr.
  4. Finding your car in the parking lot is your idea of "getting lucky".
  5. What doesn't hurt, doesn't work.
  6. You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there.
  7. Your knees buckle, but your belt won't.
  8. That little old lady you just helped across the street is your wife.
  9. An all nighter means not having to get up to pee.
  10. You forgot that you already had your 50th birthday!

Helpful Tips for the over 50's

Tip #1: Always attach your glasses to you with a piece of string. Without them you will not be able to find your false teeth.

Tip #2: Keep a journal or diary, it will help you remember what you did yesterday.

Tip #3: Take advantage of your age. Complain about your health and talk your kids into doing all your chores.

Tip #4: Science has finally made it possible for a 50 year old to look as young as a teenager - with a simple head transplant!

Tip #5: Buy an iPad, digital camera and an MP3 player. Although you won't know how to use them, you’ll at least appear trendy.

Tip #6: Become friends with people much older than yourself - you'll feel so much younger.

Tip #7: Never attempt pick up something you dropped, except under strict medical supervision.

A Prolific Source for 50th Birthday Jokes: the late Joan Rivers

A wonderful source of jokes about getting old: the late Joan Rivers.  You can find tons of her material on YouTube.  (We'll share some here very soon, so check back soon.) 

Use her material for inspiration, rather than copying her jokes. Or just tell stories about her and the jokes.

Another Good Laugh

There were 3 ladies talking about how they feel about being 50 years old.

The first lady said "There are times I find myself with the milk jug in my hand, and the fridge door open, but I can't figure out if I was taking it out, putting it back or pouring myself a glass."

Another lady answered "Yes sometimes I'm at the foot of the stairs and I don't remember if I was going up or just came down."

The last friend responded "Well, thankfully I don't have that yet, knock on wood." as she knocked on the table, then looked around and said "Oh, someone's at the door, I'll get it!"

These are only a few of the many, many funny 50th birthday jokes you can tell at your party to get a great laugh.

You will even have the 50 year old laughing at them!

Could be a risk of a leak due to laughter!

Have you ever heard a great over the hill joke? Tell us your joke!

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